Bulldog

　　Your dog should be at least one year old before testing. Treat the exam as a game so it will be willing to participate. Each test is worth a maximum of three points. But there are also bonus points. For entertainment only, owners don’t take it too seriously~
　　Test One: Choose a day or time when you don't usually walk your dog. While it’s watching, gently pick up your keys and leash (or other walking items). If it gets excited, give it three points. If it only realizes it's time to go when you reach the door, give two points. If it just sits there cluelessly, give one point.
　　Bonus points: If your dog clearly wants to let you know it needs to go out, for example, by actively bringing you the leash, give it a full five points. If it stands guard by the bathroom and won't let you use it, skip the rest of the tests. Because your dog is extremely smart.
　　Test Two: Take the resting dog out of the room and rearrange its favorite spot (sofa, bed, mat, or whatever). If it heads straight to its favorite spot, like where it has left long-time impressions, give three points. If it takes a look around and finds the spot within thirty seconds, give two points. If it's too lazy to bother and just lies down somewhere else, give one point.
　　Test Three: Take a large towel and gently cover it over the dog’s head. If it struggles free within fifteen seconds, give three points; if within 15 to 30 seconds, two points; if it wanders around all day with the towel on and knocks over bottles or jars, only one point.
　　Bonus points: If your dog walks around with the towel on its head and avoids knocking anything over, add one point. Then deduct 10 points from yourself, who was cruel enough to let your dog wander around with a towel all day.
　　Test Four: This test measures your dog’s problem-solving ability. Place the dog on a table or high chair, and put food or a toy under it where it can only reach with one paw (not the head). If the dog uses one paw and gets the food within a minute, give three points. If it uses both mouth and paws regardless of success, give two points because it tried. If it just uses its mouth, fails, and gives up, give one point.
　　Bonus points: If the dog looks at the bait, then at you, then at the bait again, and at you again, give full five points. Because it knows how to use those sorrowful, extremely persuasive eyes to make you obediently give it the item.
　　Test Five: Use cardboard (like from packing furniture or appliances) to make an obstacle higher than the dog’s two-legged standing height. Fix both sides with two boxes each, making a roughly 4.5-meter-wide obstacle. Cut a 30 cm wide rectangular hole in the cardboard, 40 cm from top and bottom edges. Don’t forget to give yourself ten points for making the test question. Use bait on the opposite side to lure it. If the dog goes around the obstacle within thirty seconds, give three points. Within one minute, two points. If it gets stuck in the hole, one point.
　　Bonus points: If the dog ignores you but finds someone else to get the food, add 3 points. Because it knows how to find alternative ways to get food.

　　Results:
　　>=16 points: Your dog could outwit Zhou Yu and surpass Zhuge Liang. You’ll wonder, “Why did I fail tests when I was young?”
　　13–16 points: Well above average. Although it won’t traffic arms, it knows how to get what it wants.
　　9–12 points: Not bad. It’s not gifted but not lazy. Better than some, worse than others.
　　5–8 points: Below normal but no big deal. Many celebrities have IQs below average and are still star fans.
　　1–4 points: Definitely not a genius. But so what? Puppies are as smart as you, who wants to be a fool anyway?